Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
