I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
