I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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