1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
