Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
