i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
