I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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