He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
