billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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