I want to make a zoo with you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
