This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
