I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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