We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
