I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
