i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
