wrigley field is MILF paradise
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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