nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I fill condoms, not promises.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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