I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
