They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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