All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
