Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
