i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
