So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
