my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
