Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
