Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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