Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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