You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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