You're completely useless in the revolution.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
