Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
