I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
