Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
