Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
