i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
