I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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