There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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