Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
