dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
