Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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