I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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