This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i dont even know how to be here
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize