yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The best revenge is premature balding
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize