Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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