spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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