OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
