yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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