apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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