i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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