I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
