3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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